Weight situation: See Below
Wow I have been a bad blogger, even after blogging last week about my bad blogging, I didn't even man up to my words and get back on the blogging band wagon.
I had a BAD week last week, not only was I really busy, but my weight was holding steady around the 137 mark. It was actually the first week I felt discouraged, I was seeing virtually no weight loss, and I wasn't feeling fantastic.
Enter the long weekend:...I have not stepped on a scale since Friday (except one time..see below) out of a sheer fear for what the numbers could hold. I am really happy this weekend is past me, and until October I have no form of a party of festivity that will cause me to waiver like I did this weekend.
On Saturday we had a family gathering for the BFs aunt & uncle. I guess looking back at the day, it all started rather innocently. I spent the morning at my Dad's office, where my mom had sent these delicious cherry candy things. Well, while doing paperwork, I was about 15-20 candies in. I don't feel THAT bad about eating candies, I am finding when I do, I don't have a huge negative impact on my weight the next day, but I think this binge caused some problems later on in the day. 8 hours pass and I have arrived at the party. The BF's family by no means are big people, none of them really struggle with their weight (except the ones married into the family!), and desserts are their favourite course. Before dinner, there was snacks out, like chips, veggies etc. I choose the veggie tray most of the time, but there was whole grain tostito's out, and based on the fact that I didn't have huge setbacks from the last time I munched on them I had a couple of those. Then I go inside to help BF's aunt with a dip tray and BAM! JU JUBES! BAM! CANDY STRAWBERRIES! Well shit, I must have eaten half the bowl. Again, candy but it all escalated from there.
Dinner came, I had a chicken breast, garden salad & I splurged and had 1.5 cobs of corn (so good and no butter or salt needed). I felt pretty good about my selections, but knowing the way those desserts were arriving, that course would be my challenge. As I am helping clear dinner & bring desserts, I can already tell this is going to be a challenge. The weird thing about my brain, and I think everyone is the same who struggles with food, once I have cheated I get in the mentality that I might as well go all the bloody way.
Let me throw you a list of what exactly the dessert table looked like:
- Chocolate cream pie
- Lemon Meringue Pie (x2)
- BF's Aunts delicious Marble cake with Butterscotch/Caramel icing deliciousness
- Rice Krispy Squares
- BF's Aunts FAMOUS butter tarts
- Turkish Delights!
- 2 fruit platters
- 2 other square type desserts, one which I can't resist
Seriously? There was like 15 of us there, was all of this necessary???????? I could have died once it was all spread out and I had to battle my inner demons.
I felt somewhat restrained and proud of myself. I took 1 buttertart, 2 turk delights, 1 of each square thing, 1 rice krispy square & a generous helping of cantaloupe. It seems like a lot, but regularly I would have probably had double & chocolate cream pie. After that, I felt guilty, but really wanted more, so I snuck a sliver of the delicious, like to-die-for marble cake, and it topped off my evening just perfectly.
On Sunday, I didn't eat until about 1 p.m. I felt so crappy and full, but it really made me think: Am I going to be able to restrain myself when I am back eating without the burden of the diet on my shoulders? When I'm in everyday life, I think I really have made a lifestyle change, but going forward, can I really restrict myself to 1 butter tart? When generally I would have 2, maybe even 3? I worry but hopefully my inner demons & I can work something out. Thankfully I will have one celebration meal per week & this will allow me to not have the guilt I felt on Sunday.
All that being said, I haven't weighed myself. I stepped on the scale after we got home Saturday to ensure I hadn't entered the 140's. I know I am usually about 2lbs lighter when I wake up in the morning, then when I go to bed, and I was in the 139's, so I felt pretty good about that. I am not going to weigh myself I think, until Friday or Saturday morning.
I have decided after last weeks plateau and struggles to do a mid-diet attack phase, so yesterday I started with PP, and hope to continue PP days until at least Thursday, if not Friday. I might throw some asparagus in maybe Wednesday or Thursday to try and drain some of the water I am sure I retained form the garbage I took in this weekend.
My updates may be scarce, but hopefully I am back on the weight loss track. Only 2.5 weeks until BF & I head to the States for some 'skinny' shopping, so I need to be around the 130 mark when that happens. Yikes! Hopefully I can work this out.
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